(My) Kids Say the Darndest Things

JENNIFER: Good night, sweetheart. Sleep tight.
HENRY: Don’t let the bed bugs bite me!

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Jennifer enters bathroom to take shower, is followed by two “helpers”
HENRY: (throwing open shower door) Oh WOW, Mom, look at the shower! It’s beautiful in there!

•••

family is watching the Colts win
ANDY: Touchdown!
HENRY: Go Colts!
ELEANOR: Where is Brett Favre?

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Eleanor regularly talks in her sleep. Some of her recent slumber exclamations:

Good morning!

Kitty! Kitty!

Dad! Dad! There’s another one THERE!

No, I don’t want any yogurt! I don’t want any yogurt!

•••

Eleanor takes nap in play tent, Jennifer relays that fact to Andy
ANDY: So, Eleanor, I heard you took a nap in your tent today.
ELEANOR: You heard me snore? At work?

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JENNIFER: We need to make a dentist appointment to go clean your teeth.
ELEANOR: In the washing machine?

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At supper, Henry eats plate of spaghetti, piece of cake, bowl of strawberries, and Eleanor’s piece of cake
HENRY: (rubbing tummy) My tummy hurts.
Grandma picks up Henry’s plate, revealing large cake crumb on table
HENRY: Oooh! MORE CAKE! (pops cake in mouth)

•••

JENNIFER: So, guys, how old will you be on your birthday?
ELEANOR: (holds up three fingers) I’m three!
HENRY: (holds up three fingers) I’m W!

•••

Andy wipes Eleanor's nose
ELEANOR: What's that, Daddy?
ANDY: Oh, just a booger.
ELEANOR: My boogers are white. White like the snow.

•••

HENRY: Met-a-mor-forus!
JENNIFER: Do you know what metamorphosis means?
HENRY: (throws hands up in air) a BIG CHANGE!
JENNIFER: That’s right! Like how caterpillars change and turn into butterflies.
HENRY: And like tadpoles into frogs!
JENNIFER: That’s right! Good job, Henry!
HENRY: And mommies into penguins!