(My) Kids Say The Darndest Things

Henry and Eleanor are pretending they’re kittens in a cage (i.e. laundry basket) while Andy and Jennifer are eating supper.
JENNIFER: I need to email Mom and make sure she knows that Jason got engaged.
ELEANOR: Jason got a cage?
ANDY: Well, that’s one way to put it, har har.

•••

Eleanor, sitting on potty chair
JENNIFER: Eleanor, are you all done peeing?
ELEANOR: I’m thinking, Mom, I’m thinking.

•••

Arriving home after playgroup
JENNIFER: Okay, let’s go in the house. We need to eat lunch and take our nap.
HENRY: No, I no want to take nap! I want to play. I want to play TOO MUCH.

•••

An Allstate commercial comes on TV
ELEANOR: (pointing to President Palmer) That my dad on TV!
ANDY & JENNIFER: Uhhhhh..is there something you need to tell us?

•••

HENRY: When I was a baby, I in your tummy.
JENNIFER: That’s right, you were in my tummy.
HENRY: I no baby any more. I Henry.

•••

As long as she's been talking Eleanor has talked in her sleep. One night this week I heard from her room, clear as a bell, "That’s fun! That’s fun, Dad! Wow!"

A daddy's girl, even in slumber.

•••

Jennifer and kids arrive at library story time.
JENNIFER: (pointing at various seat cushions) Pick where you want to sit, guys. How about the triangle? Or circle?
HENRY: I want to sit on the HEXAGON.
JENNIFER: Um, okay?

•••

walking down the stairs
HENRY: I smell meat! I’m Santa, and I smell meat!
JENNIFER: ????