Note to Self: Read This Later in July

We just returned from the lake and will be departing for another week there later this month. Do you mind if I use my blog as a note pad for a minute? Just let me jot down some reminders for our next trip.

Ahem. *sharpens pencil*

NOTE TO SELF:

Don’t put Diet Coke in the kiddie thermos unless you enjoy getting sprayed right in the face with fizzy soda when you pop open the top and then spending the next 10 minutes wiping down your face, hair, shirt, shorts, car ceiling, arm rest, DVD player, and daughter seated behind you with baby wipes. You may forget and think “oh, what a great idea to keep my Diet Coke nice and cool,” but no. No, this is not a good idea.

Ice cream makes your children slightly hyper crazy; proceed with caution.

Speaking of ice cream, you do not need to order that second scoop at House of Flavors.

Double your Ambien dose if you’re going to sleep in the same room as your children. Unless, of course, you decide you enjoyed waking up at dawn to their first stirrings, then laying in bed for the next hour or two thinking, “Are they going to wake up now? Could I get up to go pee? What if that wakes them up? What time is it? Are they going to wake up now?”

Do not put the Keen sandals on the children for the ride home, because when they get antsy during the late stages of the trip, they will remove said Keens, and their little toddler-feet stench will cause you and Andy to pull your shirts over your mouths like surgical masks, and Andy will have to put his head out the window for ventilation.

Confirm schedules of Big Bird, Madonna, and Dolly Parton, to ensure no child icon deaths occur to totally bring down your happy lake time.

Okay, I think that’s all. Photos of aforementioned trip to come soon!