This Is Why I’m Always Running Late

Thursday*, 8:00 a.m.: Awaken to sound of children.
8:03: Get out of bed, put in contacts, get dressed.
8:08: Enter nursery.
8:09: Eleanor tells me four times that I have my clothes on, she has jammies on, and I’m wearing jeans.
8:11: Henry tells me my shirt is blue.
8:12: Ask kids if they are ready to get up, get shooed away with a “bye-bye Mommy!”
8:13: Walk down hall, turn on computer.
8:15: Walk back down hall, Eleanor tells me I have my clothes on, ask kids if they are ready to get up, get shooed away with a “bye-bye Mommy!”
8:16: Leave room, open Firefox, check email.
8:18: Walk back down hall, ask Henry and Eleanor what they want for breakfast, tell them that Mommy’s hungry, explain to Eleanor that no, we’ll have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, settle on waffles and “dip” (syrup).
8:20: Henry says that he wants to sleep. Explain to him that we’ll take an early nap, but let’s get up and have breakfast! We’ll have waffles! With dip!
8:21: Get shooed from the room with a “bye-bye Mommy!”
8:22: Wander downstairs to laundry room, select outfits for kids.
8:25: Walk back down hall, tell kids to get up! We’ll have breakfast! Look, here’re your outfits!
8:26 Explain to Eleanor that she’s not going to wear jeans, she gets to wear her striped pants.
8:27: Get shooed out of the room yet again.
8:28: Check Google Reader, log on to Facebook and Twitter.
8:30: Walk back down hall, Eleanor tells me I have my clothes on.
8:31: Get Eleanor out of bed.
8:32: Eleanor insists on climbing up changing table by herself.
8:32: Eleanor runs down the hall to see dog.
8:33: Henry tells me my shirt is blue.
8:34: Eleanor begins climb up changing table.
8:35: Eleanor complains that she doesn’t want Cookie Monster on her diaper, she wants Elmo.
8:36: Get Elmo diaper out of closet, change diaper.
8:37: Get Eleanor dressed.
8:40: Get Eleanor down from changing table, listen to her pitch a fit that she didn’t climb down herself.
8:42: Insist that Henry get up, get shooed out of room.
8:43: Check email.
8:45: Eleanor tells me she has on her striped pants.
8:46: Get Henry out of bed, listen to him complain that he wants to walk to the changing table.
8:47: Put Henry down, watch him run out of room.
8:48: Call to Henry to get back in his room, he needs to have his diaper changed.
8:49: Wait for Henry to climb changing table.
8:51: Pick up Henry and put him on table, listen to him complain.
8:52: Change diaper.
8:54: Put on Henry’s jeans, Henry pitches a fit over his pants.
8:56: Wrestle with Henry to put on his shirt.
8:58: Get Henry down from changing table, watch him still pitching a fit over his pants.
9:00: Head down hall to kitchen to fix breakfast, shake head in disbelief that it just took an HOUR to get three people out of bed and dressed.

*This actually happened LAST Thursday, not yesterday. Told you those kids make me late.